Our lifelong lesson, is more than figuring meanings within selves. The human we’ve met, the human we are actively working to keep, the human we wish to unmet are knotted with so much…complexities. There seems to be no going back once you realized just now complex, fragile, beautiful, vulnerable and dependent we are towards each other to regulate our emotions, feelings, and life experiences.
The truth is we are all deeply flawed, we should know that by now. When seen upclose and personal, there is great amount of wrongness in everyone. With that, we are sure to bring certain chaos into other people’s lives. New friendship or partnership is often exciting because it is founded on the ground of ignorance. We are especially hellish towards our most intimate interactions simply because there is enough time spent together to be introduced to the full range of human inadequacies. Our hellishness relates to the pain and suffering we have experienced, bad and unwise habits, naturally born psychological traits; or most of the time, our hellishness is made in childhood. For example, if one has an avoidant personality, it is likely a result from early childhood’s unbearable disappointment. If one tends to be nervous around social status, the childhood was likely to occupied with succession, bankrupcies or economic worries that were supposedly parents’. Rootedness in childhood makes problems difficult, because it takes a lot of energy for one to articulate issues from a mature mind. The child within is more reactive than the later developed adult.
Knowing the truth, how should we interpret their failings and in return, how should other people interpret our failings? The beautiful inconvenience in this case, I realize, is about how kind we are willing to interpret one’s actions. How kind we want our mindset to be. Of course, it is far from lovely and pleasant to be confronted with social troubles from another human. Or in more common slang-uage, “it sucks big time to take shits from others.” When we are connected with that particular troublesome individual enough, that person could be your mother, your brother, your significant other or your best friend. The extent of kindness we allow the mindset to have will strengthen our capacity to stick with them, because we won’t see their failings as a death sentence to their worthiness. They can have failings, but that does not mean they are unworthy of love. More so, they are the ones who so urgently need more love.
The tragedy of this inconvenience is great — our partners might just escape from us before we were given the awareness and opportunity to detox from embedded hellishness, our friends might not want to risk any liability or trouble to outline the problems, our family might not have the emotional maturity to kick the senses right into our minds.
When you encounter someone who reverses the tragedy of said inconvenience, please embrace and cherish the person with gorgeous amount of tenderness.